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omg this is so cool take a look
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
you know girls can tell when you look at their boobs
i don’t care how quickly you glance, 1 second is like 5 seconds in boob time
3 Small Words // Josie and the PussycatsHalf the sugar, twice the spice
I don’t wanna treat you nice
Come on baby roll the dice!
kids that look exactly like one of their parents are so weird, it’s like they’re the lowercase and uppercase versions of a person
Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.
i want a novel focused around a character with braces during the apocalypse and the entire plot of the story revolves around their search for an orthodontist who is still alive and they sort of accidentally save the world in the process
yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me
If a guy calls you princess in a condescending manner assert your newly appointed royal status and have him beheaded.
sceneentire movie was brilliant perfect amazingwritten by Jesus.
why doesn’t anywhere sell normal clothes for women? like i want a plain black fuckin sweater not a mohair cross stitch embroidered cropped asymmetrical slouch longline short sleeved drop hem thing with a hole in the back
can i get an amen
Sorry, we only stock the Amen in size XXS.